Distant and Crystal Memories
by SavannahBanna
Summary: Dawn Summers knows that nothing from her past is completely real and yet the memories still reside in her brain, the brain of her sister, family and friends. Here are some of the many distant and crystal memories of the life of Dawn Summers.
1. Cribs, Lamps and Barbie Dolls

**A/N - Obviously inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the memories the monks created for everybody. I own nothing except the ideas and the imagination. Enjoy. **

* * *

"Mommy!" called five year old Buffy Summers from downstairs in the Summers living room. The television was on playing cartoons that she wasn't really paying attention to. Instead, her attention was focussed on five Barbie dolls laid out in front of her, all in a perfectly straight line, a pile of clothes in a heap next to them. Buffy had a sixth doll in her hand and was combing its long golden blonde hair as best she could, although the brush kept getting stuck in its masses of knots.

Giving up and discarding the doll on the floor, she jumped up and walked towards the bottom of the staircase.

"Mommy!" she called again, hoping to get some response this time. Her mother always played with her, it was their special mother/daughter time. But right now Mrs Summers was having mother/daughter time with another member of the family. Buffy's newly arrived younger sister, Dawn Summers. For the past few weeks since Dawn was born, Buffy had felt extremely lonely. Her father had been working and all her mothers time was spent looking after the baby, the new favourite.

Upon receiving no response from her mother, Buffy made her way up the large flight of stairs. Finally, when she had reached the top, she pushed open the door to her mothers' room where Dawn's crib was kept and peered inside.

She saw her mother, looking exhausted with rings under her eyes, lying on her bed fast asleep. Buffy walked towards her, standing beside the bed and watching her mothers face, strained yet peaceful at the same time. Her mother needed rest and so Buffy walked over to Dawn's crib, jumping to try and see over the top of it. In the end she relented and settled for standing on a chair.

The little girl was on her back, staring up at Buffy with her wide blue eyes. She looked confused and Buffy wondered why she wasn't crying. Isn't that what babies do? Cry all the time or something. And besides, Dawn had been doing a lot of crying of the last few days. But for the moment she lay there, innocent, adorable and silent. Buffy smiled down at her, unable to hold the resentment that had been forming downstairs. Her mother had to take care of Dawn, and Buffy could take care of herself—she was a big girl now.

Buffy slowly, so as not to fall, stepped down from her chair pushing it back against the wall where she had found it. Then she walked across to the window, shutting the pink, lacy curtains so as to let her mother and baby sister rest. Feeling very grown up indeed, she turned away from the window so that she was watching her mother lying on her bed. She leaned forward to give her a kiss on the cheek when…BAM!

She had knocked her mothers' glass vase that she kept on her bedside table off onto the floor. Buffy held her breath for a moment, certain it was going to crack into a million pieces. It didn't. The noise hadn't been loud enough to wake her mother but it had been enough to startle Dawn, who began to cry immediately.

Looking back at her sleeping mother, Buffy panicked, not quite sure what to do. She reminded herself that she was a big girl, she was grown up and she could fix this. Quickly she picked up the vase, put it back on the table and rushed to Dawn's crib before remembering that she wasn't tall enough to reach it.

She pushed the chair back towards the crib in a rush, stood up on it and reached inside, only just managing to keep a tight hold of Dawn as she lifted her out. It was shocking that she was even able to.

Once Dawn was safely in Buffy's arms, well relatively safe depending on how much faith you put in a five year old girl carrying her newly born sister down a flight of stairs, she sat down on the couch in the living room—rocking her backwards and forwards.

"Hi, Dawn" she said, listening as Dawn's wails subsided and she became innocent and bright eyed again. "It's your big sister, Buffy". Buffy nodded importantly, smiling down at the little girl. She felt grown-up, special. She was taking care of her little sister for her mom—she could help, just like her mother had said when they had brought Dawn home from the hospital. Buffy had asked if she could take care of Dawn sometimes and here she was, doing just that.

* * *

It seemed like hours went by as Buffy looked after Dawn. She played games with her, cuddled her and even attempted to feed her a bottle of milk from the fridge. When that didn't work out, she went back to the fun stuff. In reality though, it was only really half an hour before Joyce came walking down the stairs looking rested and ready to wear herself out once again.

"Buffy?" she asked, seeing her eldest daughter on the floor showing her baby daughter her dolls. "What are you doing?".

Buffy grinned up at her mother, a huge grin.

"I'm taking care of her, like you said I could" she said, bouncing Dawn up and down a little too fiercely. Dawn looked a little green. Joyce moved quickly forward, smiling at Buffy as she took Dawn from her arms.

Well, nothing was broken and Dawn seemed perfectly fine, despite the off colouring.

"So you are"


	2. Prams, Potatoes and Sleepovers

It didn't surprise anybody that although Dawn's first word was the typical "momma", her second was unmistakably "Buffy".

After all resentment towards her younger sister had made its way to the back of her mind Buffy had begun forming a special bond with Dawn. Their father called it 'sisterly love' while their mother simply called it 'sweet'.

Even when Dawn was only of an age where all she could do was stare at Buffy with her wide eyes and make some gurgling sounds, the two were connected. Buffy would spend her afternoons when she got home from school telling Dawn what she had learned. Once or twice she even attempted teaching some of it to her completely unresponsive little sister.

So it didn't surprise anybody that when Dawn was fourteen months old she uttered Buffy's name for the first time. And although it sounded a little more like "Bubby" everybody who heard it understood perfectly. And beside her little sister Buffy had sat proudly. She was special.

By the time Dawn was two and Buffy was seven their bond had reached a point of dependence. To the younger sister the elder was her lookout, her friend, her sister in shining armour; there to protect her whenever it was required. To the elder sister the younger was innocent, to be protected and the one person in all the world that could never do her wrong. Although Buffy knew nothing of the world yet she did know that she had to be there for her even less knowledgeable sister. Because god forbid their parents be the protectors.

Joyce and Hank Summers watched as their daughters grew closer together. Sometimes they watched in wonder, sometimes in amusement. However, on occasion they watched in concern.

The day Buffy got invited to a girls house for her very first sleepover was one of these occasions.

"Buffy, why don't you want to go?" Joyce asked her eldest daughter as said daughter pushed her baby doll pram around the living room aimlessly. "You like Olivia. You two are friends. You'll have fun. Sleepovers are normal for a girl your age."

As she had been for the past few minutes Buffy shook her head insistently, blonde hair flying everywhere. "I don't want to!" she whined once again.

"But why?" Joyce sighed, unable to figure this situation out. Her daughter never failed to surprise her but this had to be one of the oddest refusals a young girl could make. Sleepovers, the chance to get away from parents, new and fun experiences.

"I don't know." Buffy stopped pushing the pram and sank down to her knees, turning away from Joyce. With her back to her mother she put her face inside the pram towards the doll, petting it's dark curls. Joyce thought she heard her mumble something.

Running her fingers through her own curls, Joyce tried again. "Has Olivia said something mean to you?" She earned another head shake. "Are you scared of being there on your own?" Another shake. "Then what?" Joyce shook her own head, exasperated. Buffy still didn't emerge from the pram.

At this moment another figure came toddling into the living room. Immediately Dawn ran straight over to her sister, pulling on her blonde locks.

That was when Joyce understood.

"Dawn" she said and the little girl turned and ran to her mother. Joyce smiled and stroked Dawn's surprisingly dark hair that didn't look a thing like Buffy's or her own. "Has Buffy told you that she's going away for the night tomorrow?" she asked, eyes on Buffy's back as she spoke.

She thought she heard a small "I'm not" from inside the pram.

Immediately Dawn's eyes grew to an unnatural size and she shook her head. After this afternoon Joyce was going to have had enough head shaking for a lifetime. "Buffy can't go" Dawn said, continuing to shake her head in panic.

"Dawnie, don't you think Buffy needs this?"

"What?"

"Friends, places to go, independence, new experiences…" Joyce watched Dawn as she looked down at her mother's lap sadly. "Friends her own age, that is. And that aren't her sister."

"No" Dawn muttered. "Not if she's gonna leave me." Her still wide blue eyes filled with tiny tears. Joyce brushed the few that fell away with her fingers, cradling her daughters head.

This dependence the Summers' sisters had developed was a beautiful one. Two sisters being friends was a rarity, Joyce knew. It was sweet that Buffy would protect Dawn, tell her stories, teach her things. It was adorable how Dawn latched onto her sisters every word, wanted her around, looked up to her. However, the fact that neither was yet sure how to spend much time apart from one another was a point of concern.

* * *

Later that night Joyce had a talk with Hank in hushed voices with several concerned looks towards Buffy's bedroom door. Then the next day Joyce packed her eldest daughters required possessions in an overnight bag and placed it on her bed. Buffy would find it when she arrived home from school and if the closed door kept little Dawn out during the day then she wouldn't find it at all.

Sure enough Buffy found the bag and came rushing to her mother instantly. "Good, you're all ready to go? I'll drop you there as soon as I'm done peeling these potatoes for dinner."

"But I want potatoes for dinner!" Buffy cried, dropping the bag to the floor. "I said I didn't want to go. I won't-"

Joyce cut her off, turning from the potatoes. "Leave Dawn?" she asked, crouching down so she was on Buffy's eye level. "That's what this is about isn't it? You know Dawn doesn't want you to leave her."

"And I don't want to leave her" Buffy mumbled, looking down towards the bag and away from her mothers' knowing eyes.

"Oh, honey" Joyce sighed. "You know one day you'll have to leave. Someday you'll want to leave. You need to spend time away now. Spend time with people who aren't your little sister."

"Why?" Buffy demanded. "Are you punishing us…me…her?" Her words were jumbled in confusion. "What will she do without me to read her Buffy's Book of Bedtime Stories?" The last question was hopeless, Buffy's face falling further with every word.

Patiently Joyce nodded along. "How about I read it to her tonight?" she suggested, taking Buffy's hand.

"It's not Mommy's Book of Bedtime Stories" Buffy pointed out irritably. "You can't read it to her, it won't be the same."

"Look, sweetheart…" Joyce took Buffy's other hand and held the two together. They were of equal heights with Joyce crouching at the touch of her mothers' hands Buffy finally looked right into her eyes. "It's not just you who needs independence. Dawn doesn't know how to spend a single night without you and she needs to learn to. She cries when you're gone at school and in a couple of years she'll have to go to school all on her own too. It will be good for both of you if you take one tiny step back from each other and make a little bit of a separate life. Do you understand?"

Buffy nodded solemnly and then asked, "Does she really cry when I'm at school?"

Joyce simply smiled.

A few minutes later Buffy was ready and in the car being whisked away to the unknown. Back at home Dawn cried for the first hour her sister was gone with loud choking sobs that Joyce and Hank could only watch helplessly and wonder whether they had done right by their daughters. But finally Dawn calmed down, picked up one of Buffy's dolls and began playing all by herself, perfectly happy and they knew they had done what they needed to as parents.


	3. Tiaras, Treasure and Bedtime Stories

**A/N - This chapter is pretty fluffy because I basically felt like writing fluffy. I hope you enjoy it, review and favourite if you like the story. **

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"I found it!" Buffy cried triumphantly as she waved a glittering plastic object around excitedly. "The princess tiara!" Still enthused she jumped off of the chair she had been standing on in order to reach the shelves she had been riffling through for ten minutes.

A three year old Dawn had been standing below watching in anticipation for her sisters' discovery. Now that her sister was back on her level she held out her hand hesitantly. "Can I wear it?" she asked, eyeing the tiara hopefully.

"Of course!" Buffy said, as if it had been obvious. She then placed the cheap sign of royalty on her little sister's head carefully. "You're the princess. I'm the Queen so…"

Buffy turned back to a lower shelf and found her own headpiece without much effort. "I wear this!" she declared, holding out a significantly larger and more bejewelled tiara for Dawn to admire. She then proceeded to place it on her head and stride over to the bed, stepping up onto it and raising her arm above her head.

"I am Buffy Anne Summers, Queen of the Bedroom and I um..." For a moment she stumbled, trying to conjure the right word. "I declare!" she then said, a grin breaking out over her features. "I declare that we're going on an adventure." Jumping down from the bed she grabbed Dawn by the arm.

Dawn giggled. "Where we going Buffy?" she asked. On Buffy's glare she backtracked. "Queen Buffy!" she corrected herself quickly as Buffy began pulling her around the bedroom in circles.

"We're going to a place where I've heard there are fairies, pirates, treasure, unicorns, royalty…like us" Buffy explained as she towed her sister around the room more times than she needed to because Dawn seemed to be having so much fun with it. When finally she was dizzy Buffy stopped and gestured around her.

"See!" she coaxed and Dawn looked around also and nodded because if Buffy saw it then she was going to see it too.

As if she had just spotted something Buffy pointed, her enthusiasm almost knocking her tiara off her head. She liked when they played like this because she was entertaining Dawn and she liked that she was the person who could do that. "I see something" she said, rushing forward.

Instinctively Dawn followed but she shrunk back, unsure of what Buffy might have seen that her eyes couldn't.

Buffy grabbed two drumsticks from under her bed and placed them in an X formation on the floor. "Buried treasure" she explained, quickly pushing them aside and pretending to dig. Losing her nervousness her little sister rushed to help her, digging furiously just to get to the imaginary glistening gold.

"Aha!" Buffy mimed pulling a box from within their hole and placed it on the floor between them. She then looked at Dawn who was eyeing the air where the box supposedly was with interest. "Do you wanna see what's inside?" she asked, grinning widely.

Dawn nodded and Buffy acted out struggling with the lid a little before pushing it wide open. Her face changed to an over exaggerated look of delight and her sisters' followed suit.

"Lots of gold" Buffy announced. "We're rich. And there's teddies and books and jewellery too." Dawn leaned over to see all these things and smiled brightly at the nothing she saw, mimicking her sisters' expression.

"It's all for us? Really?" she asked the Queen who nodded, pulling her imaginary objects out from the treasure box. "Wow."

"Yes" Buffy said, still pulling objects from the depths of the not-even-there box. "And guess what – "

But Dawn never even got the chance to guess and Buffy never got the chance to tell for there was a rap on the bedroom door and then a head with a mop of curly hair poking through it.

"Girls," Joyce said, glancing around the room to be sure Dawn hadn't broken anything in her excitement like that one time. "It's Dawnie's bedtime now and yours soon too Buffy."

"Queen Buffy" Dawn corrected innocently. "And I'm Princess Dawn."

With an amused smile their mother nodded. "So you are. Now go and clean your teeth and get into your pyjama's and then Buffy might read you something, okay?"

Within seconds Dawn had taken off to her own room with the tiara still on top of her completely straight hair. While her sister was missing Buffy took the time to clear off her bed so she and her sister could lie on it. She then grabbed her bedtime stories book 'Buffy's Book of Bedtime Stories' and placed it on the bed.

Soon Dawn came toddling back into the room, fully changed and cleaned for sleep. "Story time" she said, climbing onto her sisters' bed and settling into the pillow. Buffy did likewise, holding the large book between them.

Although the book was large it wasn't difficult and Buffy had perfected her reading of it. "Which story today?" she asked Dawn, fingering the pages of the book as she waited.

"Peter Pan!" Dawn decided. "For the treasure" she added, by way of explanation.

"Ooookay" Buffy drew out her word and flicked to the Peter Pan story. It had lots of colourful pictures and Buffy pointed to them as she read as illustration of the events. Dawn got especially excited when Tinkerbell came along and drifted off to sleep before Wendy was even captured by the pirates, leaving it a happy ending.

Neither Buffy nor her mother even bothered to move her to her own bedroom.


	4. Elephants, Stuffing and Sewing Machines

**A/N - This chapter is a little shorter but it was a sweet, yet common story I wanted to tell. It once again shows how much the Summers' sisters adored one another as children. I'd like to ask you guys if you have any stories for later chapters to message me or tell me in a review. I'd love to include them. Enjoy. **

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"I WANT MR. NOODLES!" Dawn was wailing as Joyce drove her home from this afternoons play date. This noise had been bursting Joyce's eardrums ever since her daughter had climbed into the car and it was getting to the point where the mother was feeling slightly helpless.

In the backseat beside Dawn, Buffy was trying to comfort her little sister and in the passenger seat beside Joyce sat poor old Mr. Noodles with his head lying next to him.

From what Joyce had been told by Davie Robinson's mother the two children had been playing perfectly happily with Mr. Noodles until they had decided they didn't want to share him anymore. Despite the elephant being Dawn's toy Davie had decided it was his right to play with the animal alone. In the shuffle of events that followed somebody had pulled a little too vigorously and off Mr. Noodles' head had come.

Now he lay sadly, stuffing leaking out onto the seat.

* * *

When the Summers' women arrived home a patient Buffy led Dawn to her bedroom where Dawn immediately threw herself onto the bed. "I want Mr. Noodles" she cried, head buried in a plethora of stuffed animals.

"You don't need Mr. Noodles" Buffy reasoned as Joyce hovered in the doorway, watching. "Look!" she held up a lopsided piglet even though Dawn wasn't looking. "You like Piggy, right?" Instead of responding to the question the youngest Summers' let out a muffled whimper.

"Polly?" Buffy held up a second piglet and little Dawn looked up simply to give her older sister a pained look. "Fine" Buffy sighed. "Ariel, then?" she held up a dolphin toy that Hank had picked up on his fairly recent trip to Australia. Dawn simply shook her head, burying it once again in the pillow of animals.

It was now that Joyce stepped in, walking into the room and taking a seat with her daughters on the bed. "Dawn, honey" she said, putting her hand on Dawn's back and stroking it softly. "Mr. Noodles' life might be at an end. I could try to fix him up for you but I doubt he'd be the same elephant you knew."

"I want Mr. Noodles" Dawn repeated, but with less anguish. She sat up and leaned her back against the stuffed collection instead. "I miss him. I hate Davie!"

Joyce sighed quietly. Being the youngest child Dawn had learned quickly to rely on other things to help her through life. Buffy had been the first and Mr. Noodles the second. Dawn always said she couldn't go anywhere without Mr. Noodles, just as she preferred not to go anywhere without Buffy. Perhaps one day she might grow out of her dependent behaviour.

"Okay Dawnie" she said, patting her youngest daughters shoulder and making her way out of the room. As she left she heard Buffy continue to pull out toys, being as helpful as Dawn was making it possible.

Once she was out of the room and the door was closed Joyce headed to her sewing machine and took a seat, Mr. Noodles in her hands. It was going to be a tough job and it was doubtful that he would look exactly right when Dawn got him back but with her youngest miserable it was worth a shot.

* * *

An hour into her labour of trying to get the elephant exactly how he was Buffy ran straight past her and toward her own bedroom. Joyce only wondered briefly what her daughter was up to but she was concentrating far too hard to really focus. A few seconds later Buffy was rushing back towards her sisters' room.

"Dawn, here! I've got a present for you!" she was calling as she ran and Joyce paused in her task to listen.

"Look!' Buffy was saying and Joyce heard movement on Dawn's bed. "She's a bunny rabbit. She's cute, right?"

"I love her!" Dawn replied. "Is she for me?"

"Obviously."

More excited movement.

"I'll name her Carrot!"

A small smile crept across Joyce's face. Of course, this made absolute sense. Mr. Noodles had been a present from Buffy for Dawn's second birthday. Her very intelligent eldest must have figured that if she gave Dawn a new present it would make her happier.

Smile still etched on her features Joyce tossed Mr. Noodles into the trash can below the desk. Now they simply had to make sure nothing life threatening happened to Carrot.


	5. Classrooms, Balls and Superhero Sisters

**A/N - So here is the next chapter. I may be spacing the chapters out a little more than I did when I first posted this story but don't worry, I'll continue to update as much as possible. I hope you like the story. Our little Dawn is growing up. **

* * *

"Oh, you look so cute!" Joyce Summers said again as she continued photographing her children.

The two girls were standing on the front steps of their home. Buffy was rolling her eyes slightly whilst Dawn grinned for the camera. It was her big day after all and the youngest Summers' was all ready for her first day of school.

Since her older sister Buffy had been attending school for all of Dawn's life, she had always felt a little left out. When Buffy was doing her homework Dawn would always mimic the words she said aloud. When she was talking about her friends at school Dawn would talk about them as if she, too, knew them.

Now it was her time. She was leaving the world of toys and toddlers behind and joining the big leagues, the adults, the desks and pencils. She would be just like Buffy—a big girl!

As Dawn posed for the camera, feeling super grown up, Buffy watched her mother. Although her sister was oblivious, Buffy could see the tears in her mother's eyes as she fawned and fussed.

"You just…look so grown up" Joyce sniffled, taking one last photo before reluctantly placing the camera into it's case. "Now, let's get you to your first day of school." She took little Dawn by the hand and led her towards the car while Buffy followed, trying to remember if her mother had cried on her first day of school.

She decided that she probably had.

* * *

Convincing Joyce that they were going to be okay and they didn't need her to stay any longer was difficult. Dawn said she didn't feel like a grown up with her mother around, while Buffy patted her mothers' arm and promised to look after her little sister.

And finally Joyce kissed both her girls on the head and left the premises all alone.

"It's much bigger than home" Dawn observed, eyes scanning all the buildings and running children. They grew a little wider when she took in the vast number of children. Would she get lost? What if she couldn't find any friends? What if she got hurt?

Buffy nodded. "Yup" she said, taking her little sisters hand.

Dawn snatched it away immediately.

"I'm a big girl!" she insisted, shaking her hand as if to rid it of Buffy-ness. "I don't need mommy to hold my hand and I don't need you to hold my hand." And as Buffy watched she turned and headed off.

"Where are you-" Buffy began before shaking her head and waiting.

She was right. It wasn't long before Dawn came wandering back, lost, confused and slightly sheepish. Perhaps she didn't need to be fussed over and have her hand gripped but she would be lost without her older sister.

"Maybe I do need you to show me…" Dawn trailed off, looking at the ground. Big girls weren't supposed to need help. Buffy didn't need help. Mommy didn't need help. All the kids around her didn't seem to need help.

Kindly Buffy took her hand. "I'll show you were to go" she promised, leading her in the direction of the classroom Joyce had pointed out to her.

Once they arrived she let go of her sisters' hand. "Are you okay from here?" she asked, looking down at Dawn who was biting her thumb. She only did this when she was scared and just the thought of leaving her helpless baby sister made Buffy nervous.

Still knowing on her thumb, Dawn nodded slightly. "Fine" she mumbled, taking one small step towards the door.

"Are you sure?" Buffy pressed, reaching out slightly as if to grab her. "I'll be in the classroom over there if you need me. You can just ask the teacher or-"

"Fine" Dawn repeated, giving her sister a quick hug before darting into the classroom.

* * *

School was nothing like preschool. Instead of colouring, Dawn was learning things. The teacher told them that they would learn how to read, how to write, how to do sums…With all of the knowledge of what kind knowledge she would receive Dawn's head was spinning.

When they were looking at picture books Dawn had to share with a girl named Laura. Laura was a taller red-headed girl with lots of freckles and a tendency to laugh at almost anything. Later a girl named Danielle struck up a conversation as they headed out to morning break. Danielle told Dawn she preferred to be called Dani. She was a little pudgy but had a kind smile and long blonde hair that fell down to her waist.

"I already know some basic sums" Laura said, skipping along beside Dani and Dawn as the group walking towards the playing field. "Like 1 + 1 and 2 + 2 and I know how to write my name!" Dawn nodded along, grinning at the fact that she had made friends so easily.

Dani flopped down under a tree, reclining against the bark. "I can write my name too" she announced. "But I can't wait to learn to read. I love stories. My daddy is reading me Peter Pan and it's amazing. Have you read Peter Pan, Dawn?"

Dawn's eyes widened in delight. "I love Peter Pan!" she exclaimed. "And Cinderella and Snow White and The Swan Princess and The Little Mermaid." She could have gone on forever but she didn't want to bore her new friends. "My sister Buffy reads them to me" she added.

"My family doesn't read me anything" Laura stated, rolling up her sleeves slightly as she sank down underneath the tree with Dani. Dawn sat down too, crossing her legs.

"WATCH OUT!

The girls heard the high pitched scream a little late and just as Dawn sat down a ball knocked her in the back of the head. Gasping, she rubbed the sore patch, trying not to cry at the pain.

"I told you to watch out" an older girl said, rushing over. "Robbie, you need to be careful. They're just kids."

The boy, Robbie, walked towards them with a smirk. "They need to learn to handle themselves. They can't cry because a ball hits them. Schools about toughening up, right? We're tough. If they were then they could get over it."

"But they're tiny!" The girl exclaimed, shaking her head.

"So?"

"So? Are you crazy? You'll get us put in lunch detention again and I'll kill you if that happens."

As she listened to the heated argument Dawn could feel the tears pricking in her eyes. Dani was watching her with concern, eyes wide at the events while Laura stared at the older kids, glaring.

"Don't!" The older girl exclaimed and Dawn, who had been distracted by her friends, felt another ball pelt her in the head. This time the tears fell as it hit the same place the last one did. Laura jumped up angrily but Dawn simply sat where she was. She wouldn't let them see she was hurt, just as Buffy had taught her.

When she looked out of the corner of her eye she saw the boy chuckling to himself while the girl tried to wrestle the ball out of his hand. Then she saw a flash of blonde hair in the mix and the ball fell from the grip of the boy and to the ground.

"How dare you!"

And as she heard the words the biggest smile stretched out over Dawn's face. It was Buffy. Buffy was here to defend her.

"Ooh, it's _Buffy_" the boy smirked. There was a sneer in the way he said 'Buffy' that made Dawn what to hit him harder than she'd ever wanted to hit anything in her life. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Dawn's mouth dropped open, as did the mouths of her two friends. None of them had ever heard someone say that word before without getting in major trouble. Buffy's mouth just tightened and she glared at the boy.

"That is my sister!" she sneered right back, picking the ball up and bouncing in on the ground in front of her. "So I think it'd be smart" she tossed the ball and caught it. "If you" she repeated the action. "Just leave her" once again. "Alone!" And with that she tossed the ball at his chest and stalked away. The boy simply sighed and his friend pulled him back where they had come, leaving the girls alone again.

* * *

"So…" Joyce said in the car on the way home. "How was your first day of school?"

Without even looking at each other the two girls said in unison, "Fine."


	6. Scientists, Boyfriends and Writing Lines

**A/N - I really am proud of this chapter. It's really sweet and has some reverse qualities from the last chapter. Thank you all so much for favoriting, following and reviewing. Please continue to do so. It totally fills me with inspiration. Also, don't forget that you can totally suggest ideas for future chapters. Even just prompts or something you'd like to see and I'll be sure to work with it. Enjoy this chapter and I love you all.**

* * *

Several months after Dawn's first day of school she was settling in fairly well. There had been no more incidents of her head being hit with balls and she was always incredibly proud whenever she learnt something new. Dani and Laura were now her best ever friends and she had been over to their houses for afternoon tea several times.

None of the bigger kids ever bothered Dawn and her friends and Dawn knew it was because of her big sister Buffy. She was so brave standing up to them like she had. Sometimes Dawn wished she were more like that instead of sitting meekly by and letting things happen.

So the day she heard a group saying things about her sister Dawn decided to step in.

* * *

Earlier that week Buffy had bought a short boy with unusually small round glasses and obvious braces home after school. She had said his name was Simon and the two of them had to do a school project together. Despite his odd appearance Simon had turned out to be rather nice. He had stayed for dinner and had told Dawn all about his coin collection and how he was going to be a scientist when he grew up.

Dawn had asked Buffy later that night what she had thought of Simon. "Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?" she had asked, having heard the terms around school. It surprised her when Buffy's mouth dropped open in astonishment.

"No!" her older sister exclaimed as if this was the most ridiculous idea in the world. "Dawn, why would you think that?"

"I don't know…" Dawn shrugged. "He's a boy and you're a girl. Don't you like him?"

Buffy sat down on her bed and picked up some pre-teen magazine that was sitting beside her, flicking aimlessly through it. "I like him" she said. "Simon's nice and he's going to do most of the assignment for me and I didn't even ask…" Dawn smiled.

"So you are boyfriend and girlfriend" she said, triumphantly.

"No!" Buffy repeated, dropping the magazine and shaking her head at her sister who had come to sit beside her on the bed now. "Just because I think he's nice it doesn't mean he's my boyfriend!" She made a face for effect and Dawn's eyes grew confused.

"So you're not friends?" she asked.

"Well…I guess we're friends…sort of" Buffy responded.

The next day Dawn told Dani and Laura about Simon in detail. From his short brown hair, to the tiny glasses, to the t-shirt he had been wearing with the numbers on it and everything beyond that. She showed them how he had taught her to say the alphabet backwards and giggled when they tried and failed.

"He's sounds funny" Dani laughed after her fifth attempt at backwards alphabetizing. Dawn nodded in agreement, leaning against the wall to their classroom where they were standing outside.

"Why was he there?" Laura asked, eating a banana that was meant for her break time snack but she always ate her snacks early and complained of being hungry later. "Just to teach you to say the ABCs backwards?"

Dawn giggled. "Noooo" she told them. "He and Buffy were doing something together…something for school." Then her grin grew wider. "He's her boyfriend" she explained.

"Oh, cool" Laura said, finishing off her banana and pulling out a cookie from her lunchbox. "I would have a boyfriend if all the boys in our class didn't pull my hair all the time."

"Me too" Dani sighed, playing with her long braid thoughtfully.

Dawn just smiled.

* * *

"Buffy, I heard you and Simon Myers were sitting in a tree!"

Dawn, Laura and Dani had been walking towards their usual spot in the playground when they had heard this. Immediately Dawn grabbed her friends arms, forcing them to stop and back up a few paces.

Standing there beside the playground was Buffy and with her stood three boys and two girls that Dawn recognized as being in her sisters class. Buffy appeared to have just turned around at the boys words for she had been heading to join her friends a few minutes ago.

"What?" Buffy asked and the younger girls inched closer to hear better.

The tallest of the boys smirked, nudging the girl to his left side. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" the girl sneered, laughing cruelly as Buffy flushed deep crimson.

"What did she say?" Dani whispered to Dawn who just shrugged, trying to piece the letters together in her head.

Another one of the guys moved closer to Buffy who was still beetroot red. "Have you been going around kissing dorks?" he asked her with venom in his tone. "Because you know dorks are contagious, right? If you let them touch you, kiss you…sometimes even look at you…you've got it." The boy snapped his fingers for effect.

"Are you a dork now…_Buffy_?" one of the girls asked, raising her eyebrows nastily at Dawn's older sister.

"You guys are so dumb" Buffy snapped, stepping towards the guy who had been stalking towards her and closing some distance between them. "I haven't kissed Simon Myers. What kind of an idiot do you think I am?"

"A dorky one" a guy cheered, evidently proud of himself. They all laughed.

"That's not what we heard, you know" The boy closest to Buffy told her, a permanent smirk on his face. "Not what everybody's heard."

"And what did you hear?" Buffy snapped and Dawn could see her sister trying not to let anybody see her weakness. Dawn wondered if the boys could see it and she clutched Dani's arm as they watched the scene before them.

"Well," another boy stepped forward. "We heard that Simon is your _boyfriend_!" The word boyfriend was laced with some venom that even Dawn blushed. "So we just assumed that you have been doing what _boyfriends_ and _girlfriends_ do. You know, you and Simon really would make the perfect couple."

"Yeah, a couple of idiots" one of the girls muttered.

By this time Buffy's face had returned to it's former red colour and Dawn could see her clenching her fists. "Where did you hear that?" she snapped, tone measured.

"Your little sister, actually" the same boy told her. "What was her name? It's not as stupid as Buffy but pretty close, right?"

"Dawn" Buffy supplied and Dawn couldn't quite tell what her tone was now but it made her nervous.

"Oh yeah! Dawn!" The guy nodded as if he had figured it out himself. "She was telling her friends the other morning and word somehow got around. So sweet how you tell your sister everything, isn't it?"

As Dawn watched her mind was racing her heartbeats. Some of the boys words were merging together as she chanted in her head. _Be brave Buffy, be brave Buffy _and so on. But suddenly a new thought entered her mind. _Be brave Dawn_!

So before she could even consider what she was doing Dawn had unlatched herself from Dani and raced across the grass towards the group assembled by the playground. She didn't stop once she reached them. Instead she went flying towards one of the boys so that the two of them went toppling over onto the ground. Dawn got up quickly, leaving the bully where he had fallen.

"Leave my sister alone!" she yelled, glaring at the boys and girls still standing. "Simon is nice and he's a good boyfriend! Maybe you could be Buffy's boyfriends too if you were nicer!"

Everybody was looking at her as if they didn't quite know what to make of the situation. The boy she had pushed over was climbing to his feet, rubbing his arm where he had landed on it. But Dawn didn't have time to feel bad about it now, Buffy needed defending this time and Dawn would help her.

"Simon is not my boyfriend!" Buffy exclaimed, staring at Dawn with a mix of annoyance and anger. Dawn turned to her.

"But you said you were friends…" she asked, confused.

"I said maybe and that doesn't mean he's my boyfriend. Yuck! When someone's your boyfriend it means you're like…mum and dad. You kiss and hug and buy each other presents and stuff" Buffy made a face. "He's just my project partner. I don't want to kiss him!"

"Oh…" Dawn finally understood.

"Also, do you have to tell your friends everything?" Buffy asked, looking over to where Dani and Laura were watching in astonishment. Though Laura looked kind of proud.

Flushing a little and feeling incredibly sorry for this being her fault, Dawn nodded.

"So Buffy…" one of the boys said, chuckling. "You need your little sister to come to your rescue now, do you? How-"

Dawn didn't even let him finish his sentence. In an instant she had gone flying towards him and landed a large, hard bite on his arm.

* * *

_Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore.  
Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore.  
Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore.  
Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore.  
Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore.  
Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore.  
Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore.  
Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore.  
Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore.  
Biting is bad and I won't do it anymore._

And as she sat in an empty classroom with only a teacher for supervision Dawn had to write this forty more times.


	7. Cats, Flashlights and Little Women

**A/N - Surprise! Here's a second chapter for today. I'm so happy people are reading this and enjoying it. This chapter was so fun to write and it's so sweet yet sad. I hope you enjoy the return of a certain book. If you reviewed and favourited I would love you forever. As if I don't already. Enjoy. **

* * *

By the time Dawn was five and Buffy was ten a natural progression began to occur. At first nobody noticed and simply carried on as normal but as they days of Dawn's first year of school flew by, her completely secure relationship with her sister began to change.

This is normal in relationships between siblings. They can start out incredibly close only to end up yelling and screaming at one another. But it didn't happen quite like that. However, Dawn began to become something of an annoyance for Buffy at times. There were still times when Dawn could convince her older sister to read her something out of 'Buffy's Book of Bedtime Stories' but these nights were few and far between.

It wasn't simply one sided either. Now that she was in school Dawn had made a group of friends. No longer was she alone and she was learning to become dependent on more than simply Buffy. Her friends, her teacher, her daily routine were all things to keep her from falling through the cracks. It wasn't just Buffy anymore.

But as the changes in the relationship became more and more obvious it was Dawn who found herself feeling slightly hurt. As her sister talked about her friends and birthday parties and books at the dinner table, as she went to her bedroom at night without saying goodnight to Dawn, as she put 'Buffy's Book of Bedtime Stories' on a shelf, Dawn began to feel more and more lonely.

"Buffy!" she exclaimed one day, bouncing towards the couch Buffy was currently reclining on. Her older sister had a book in front of her face and appeared to be extremely fascinated by the events on the pages. Dawn stood on her tip toes to try and see cover but she couldn't read what it said.

It took another three tries for Buffy to actually register her sister. "Oh, Dawn" she said, blinking a few times. "What?" Immediately Dawn deflated. She missed the times when Buffy would drop anything. She missed treasure chests and princesses and watching stupid videos that they knew every piece of dialogue to.

"Wanna play a game?" Dawn tried, climbing onto the arm of the couch and peering over Buffy's shoulder at the book. Only a few words stuck out to her. 'little', 'Jo' and 'book.' "We could play pirates."

Buffy shook her head, still appearing to be reading the page in front of her. "I'm busy Dawnie" she said, voice low due to concentration.

"Or mermaids" Dawn suggested, still keeping her enthusiasm up as she bounced on the arm of the couch. "We could play mermaids. Or Peter Pan! There's pirates AND mermaids in Peter Pan. You could even be Wendy if you want." This was rather generous because even as a little girl Dawn had insisted on being Wendy. It was the one thing Buffy could never take or dictate.

"I can't, Dawn" Buffy said, her tone firmer this time.

"Why not?" Dawn whined, getting off the couch arm and sitting on one of the armchairs in front of the TV. She crossed her arms across her chest and made a sour face. It felt bad to be rejected.

Buffy placed her finger carefully on the inside of her book and closed it over the top, turning to look at Dawn. "Because I'm reading and it's a good book and I just don't have time" she said, sighing.

"Fine" Dawn muttered, turning her body away from her sister and staring out of the window. Outside a cat was walking around in their garden. The Summers' didn't have a cat. Dawn would have liked a cat. Cats were cute and fluffy.

While Dawn was thinking Buffy had gone back to her reading. But Dawn couldn't mind her own business for very long. The silence and watching the cat wasn't helping her feeling of loneliness. So after only five minutes she turned back around to face her sister.

"Is Ashley coming over tomorrow?" Dawn asked because she'd heard Joyce talking about it earlier.

Her sister just nodded, not even looking up from whatever dumb book she was reading and thought was more important than Dawn. Dawn had a sudden urge to grab the book and toss it across the room. The only book Buffy was allowed to read was 'Buffy's Book of Bedtime Stories.'

Watching as Buffy turned the page, Dawn pressed on. "Can I play with you guys?" she asked, hopeful.

"We don't play" Buffy said, positioning her finger inside the book again and looking at Dawn. "We talk…about big girl things that you wouldn't understand."

"I would so understand big girl things!" Dawn insisted, feeling the hurt come back. "You told me when I started school that I was a big girl, that I was grown up! Can I talk too? Pleeeease?"

Buffy shook her head. "No."

"But-"

"Dawn, no! Can I read now?"

Pouting again Dawn smacked her lips shut, glaring at her sister as she continued to read whatever was in that book. Was it a good story? Were there mermaids and pirates? Why didn't Buffy want to share things with her anymore.

"We could bake something tomorrow" Dawn said quietly. Baking was something that Joyce had taught Buffy and Dawn to do together. "Before Ashley comes…Like cookies." Her voice was quiet and she wondered if Buffy knew what she was feeling. Did Buffy ever feel this way?

Looking up for a fraction of a second, Buffy nodded. "Maybe, yeah" she said, before returning to the words.

After that Dawn left the room feeling only marginally better.

* * *

Late that night Dawn was tucked up under the covers watching the shapes move across her ceiling. It was raining outside and she could hear it above her. To some children it might be scary but to Dawn the rain made her feel much less lonely. It also made her sleepy and she focussed on the sound patterns of the pit-pattering the rain made against their roof.

As she drifted towards much fuzzier images she thought about the day. The feelings came back to her but much weaker as she was almost asleep. That feeling of hurt grasping at her heart and making her sad once again. It was so hard to be the younger sister, she decided. You were left behind, always, when the older one wanted to grow up. They forgot you.

Just then something did frighten Dawn but it wasn't the rain. She jolted up in her bed, clutching at the bed-sheets and shrinking backwards. The door had opened, revealing a shadow making it's way across her bedroom floor.

"W-who…" Dawn began but she never finished her stammer for the figure had reached her bed and was climbing inside.

"Relax, Dawnie" came Buffy's voice from beside her. "It's just me."

As her sister pulled the covers up around her something hard knocked Dawn's arm. She reached for it, curious to see what the object that had hurt her was. What had Buffy brought with her?

"Is that…?" Dawn began, trailing off as she felt the raised lettering across the front of the book. 'Buffy's Book of Bedtime Stories' it read and a huge smile stretched across Dawn's face and she reached out to hug her sister. Buffy returned the gesture, smiling in the darkness.

"Shh!" she whispered, taking the book back from Dawn. "It's late and we'll get in super trouble if they catch us. Now…which story do you want tonight?"

In Dawn's head she tried to decide which story she would most like to hear if she couldn't hear another one for three months. It was easy. Peter Pan. Her favourite.

So she told Buffy and the next fifteen minutes were spent with a flashlight, Peter, Hook and all the misadventures that happen when the boy who doesn't want to grow up is around. Every sentence had Dawn giggling into Buffy's shoulder because she couldn't make too much noise and even Buffy laughed, cuddling her younger sister when the story was finally over.

When they were finished the two girls settled down to sleep. And just when Dawn thought Buffy had drifted off she heard her voice again.

"Maybe sometime I'll read you Little Women" she said, quietly as if she had been thinking about it for some time.

"What?" Dawn asked.

"Little Women" Buffy repeated. "It's what I was reading today…"

"Maybe" Dawn pulled the blankets under her chin and fell asleep still smiling.


	8. Pinups, Diaries and Apologies

**A/N - FINALLY! I'm sorry this update took so long. I really wanted to get something up so I randomly decided to write this chapter tonight. This one is thematically similar to the last chapter and I hope you like it. I love reviews, they really encourage me. Don't forget that you can leave one with suggestions for future chapters. Or you can PM me, either way. I also love favourites and follows. Enjoy!**

* * *

Every single time Buffy got angry at Dawn she said she was sorry.

The very first time this occurred was the time Dawn decided that only she would play Wendy in one of their pretend games. Buffy had stalked off rather sulkily after calling Dawn stupid. Later that night she had come and given her little sister a hug to say she was sorry.

Several times later she had yelled at Dawn for trying to colour in Buffy's Book of Bedtime stories with markers. When Dawn protested that she was only trying to make the stories colourful Buffy called her dumb. Later that night she gave Dawn one of her colouring in books to say she was sorry.

Several months after Buffy had crawled into Dawn's bed to apologise for their growing distance with a bedtime story, Dawn found herself inside Buffy's room alone.

Dawn had actually never been in Buffy's room alone before. She had been in Buffy's room playing pretend games when the walls were pink and covered with fairies and mermaids. She had been in Buffy's room talking to Buffy when the walls had been completely blue and bare. And she had been in Buffy's room trying to get her sisters' attention several months ago when the walls had been covered in drawings.

Today everything was different.

When Dawn stepped into Buffy's room she found herself staring at posters. There were posters everywhere. Pictures of groups of girls that Dawn didn't recognize, even a pinup of a boy or two. It was a completely different universe. Strewn across the floor lay magazines, books and paper and Dawn almost tripped over some coloured pencils as she made her way inside.

Somehow Buffy's world had changed entirely without her realizing it.

The reason Dawn had ventured inside this room while her sister was at gymnastics was because she was searching for something. Only yesterday had she remembered the book that Buffy had said she might read to her. It had been called Little Women and since the eldest Summers had chosen not to read it to Dawn, she decided she would try to read it herself.

So here she was to search for a book without her sisters permission. But Buffy wouldn't mind because she had said she would read it to her anyway. It wasn't as if Dawn was doing anything wrong.

"Where are you, book?" Dawn wondered aloud as she sank down to her hands and knees. It was impossible to find anything in the clutter and Dawn ended up sitting on her bottom, rifling through papers and moving magazines out of her way.

After fifteen minutes of searching Dawn let out a groan. Why couldn't Buffy just keep her room tidy? Joyce was always telling the two girls to clean their bedrooms. With one hand she swiped some papers out of the way in annoyance and something beneath them caught her eye

BUFFYS DIARY, it said on it in bold letters.

Dawn recognized this. At the beginning of the year Buffy had asked her parents for a diary. When Dawn had asked what one was her sister had told her that it was a book.

"You write stories in it, sort of" she had explained. "Stories about your life and stuff. Or you could write songs or something. Whatever."

So here was Buffy's story book. Buffy's Little Book of Life Stories? What had she been writing? Had she written about Dawn? Maybe she had written down the rude thing that their father had let slip at dinner last week. That word had earned him a death glare from Joyce.

Of its own accord her hand reached out to grab the diary. Since Buffy wasn't reading her Big Book to Dawn these days Dawn just wanted a glimpse into the Little Book. All she wanted was a story. That's what she'd come here for.

Five minutes turned to ten and then to twenty as Dawn sat in the mess reading Buffy's stories. Some of Buffy's words were hard for Dawn to understand and mostly she simply got the gist of what was being said. However, she still found herself laughing and gasping out loud. Once Buffy had used the word 'crap' and Dawn almost dropped the book in astonishment and horror.

When twenty minutes turned to thirty Dawn heard footsteps making their way towards the door. Naturally she made no move to place the diary back down or perhaps leave the room. Instead she sat contently waiting for Buffy to enter so she could ask her what 'infuriating' meant and why it had been used to describe her in this book.

But when Buffy had opened the door and seen her sister in her current position Dawn realized that maybe she should have made herself scarce sooner.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DIARY?" Buffy squealed, a look of horror crossing her face. Never had Dawn heard her sister use the word hell and never had she been yelled at quite so loudly. Immediately she shrank back, hiding her face with the small book.

Fuelled by anger, Buffy strode in and snatched the diary from Dawn's grip. Now the two were forced to look at one another and all Dawn wanted to do was turn back time, or at least close her eyes.

The look in her sister's eyes was venomous. "Who said you could come in my room anyway?" she snapped. "You're not allowed in my room. You're not allowed to touch my things. And you're not allowed to READ MY DIARY. You shouldn't do any of these things without asking and you shouldn't even ask to read my diary because It's PRIVATE!"

Dawn simply couldn't find the words. "I-I-I just wanted..." she stammered, "You-y-you said…that i-it was stories and I missed your…s-st-stories…"

Had she expected Buffy's gaze to soften? If she had, she would have been wrong.

"Not stories for you to read!" Buffy fumed. "Don't you know that diaries are personal? God Dawn, you're such an idiot!"

Stupid, dumb, moron, baby, silly, whiny, lazy…idiot. All the words Buffy had ever called her came rushing back with that one word and it felt as if her sister had called her all of them at once. Dawn's eyes began to water, filling to the brim with tears and over flowing.

"I didn't" she insisted. "I didn't know!" And I'm not an idiot, she roared inside her head but she didn't say it. Right now all she wanted to do was run away.

"Yeah, well…" Buffy huffed. "Just get of my room. Go away!"

Dawn did what she was told immediately. She dropped the diary, didn't even ask about Little Women, and scurried away to her own room.

She lay on her bed for the next few hours.

She went out to dinner and ate macaroni and cheese with the family.

She stood next to Buffy as the two of them cleaned their teeth that night.

And she lay awake waiting. Hours of simply waiting for Buffy to come and apologise. She waited for a hug. She waited for a colouring in book. She waited for a story.

Nothing came.

This time Buffy Summers did not apologise.


End file.
